Thursday, 14 October 2010

In my shoes

In the last six months, every time I have spied women perched upon towering heels, I have seen scrunched up band-aids peeping out of the borders (scrunched up because despite the global epidemic that is shoe-bite, no company has come up with a band-aid which doesn’t bunch up once inside the heeled footwear). And the numbers of such foolhardy souls is not diminutive. I see one every day, be it the underground or the street level, trudging away bravely, paying no (outward) attention to her bleeding sole (exaggeration alert). So with them masking their agony so well, how do I know? You see I am recovering victim of the “kill all women with torturous footwear” attack and I know a fellow sufferer by plain sight.

To say I have a footwear fetish would constitute an inaccuracy. No, the footwear fiend in this marriage is the husband. So if you spy shoes spilling off the shoe-rack at our ‘ome sweet ‘ome, it is because:

a) Most of them are the hubby’s

b) One or two are borrowed (read on to know why)

c) The rest sit pretty to don (more) beautiful feet, not mine. No I am not babysitting them; I am stuck with them.

At any given time since I could decide on how my feet sould be shod, I have housed a minimum of three pairs of footwear of which I have only ever done justice to one. Not because I was picky I was forced to choose one; the other two would invariably leave my feet battered and bruised. No manner of “trying out” at the shop would EVER betray the painful future the shoes held in store for me.

Today our tiny little apartment houses two incorrigible pair (of humans) and 30 pairs of footwear, 10 are mine and I still can only wear one pair.

Let’s begin at the beginning. Excited at having bid bye bye to Bata and a gusty aloha to Clarks, UK, I went shoe shopping in my first week here. Armed with the conviction that my transit across oceans had finally broken the jinx of having to wear ill-fitting shoes (I was practising the elusive art of positive thinking at this point). That particular trip earned me two lovely looking pairs of heels.

Soon came the day that the first pair of newly bought sandals was to make a debut and that too at a party which promised a good time (this for me includes dancing). Once out of the apartment, a hundred steps later, I had a familiar sensation: shoe bite. I shrugged it off and trudged on bravely.

“They are new, need to be broken into,” I told myself.

Those leathery fiends had the same idea about me. By the beginning of the night I was hopping mad, literally. In the end, all I could do was sit and drown my sorrow in a weak vodka. So much for fun.

Needless to say, the killer heels were relegated to the back of the closet at the earliest. Thankfully, giving in to a sense of nostalgia I was sure I would experience once away from India, I had packed my trusty old open toes sandals, which I worked with for the next one month. Finally, I would walk again, albeit with bandages/band-aids on.

You would think I would have learnt my lesson and picked up a few new pairs when I visited India. Nope. I am one of those idiots who believe that if tried enough number of times, the same mistake can yield a different result. Of course I had good reason to repeat the fallacy- but we won’t dwell on that. On many an occasion I have returned home from an outing with a friend walking miles in her shoes, literally.

Finally thanks to one of them darling beings I call friends, I was introduced to the W(ide) variety of shoes. So basically they are for wide toed misfits like me and fit like a dream. Unfortunately for me they are not widely available (yes yes that was funny, that’s why I said what I did). So we are back at the beginning and I am stuck with many a shoe and only one fits. But at least I am not bleeding.


Anonymous said...

Same pinch!! And its always the sinster ones that lookk so fantabulous. Sigh!

March Hare said...

Same pinch indeed my dear!!! :D

Latin Sardar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
March Hare said...

@LS: With ur cheek, now wonder u get the royal treatment!! :D

sengemo said...

I bought two new pairs today hehehe. but they are flats for I couldn't torture my feet with heels.

amu said...

i have been postponing the decision of fear of the same truth tho i am in the habit of nt getting blood(ied) feet but buying a pair larger than my size and that then is graciously removed from my possession by my dear darling momeee

Roopabee said...

I think this is your best one yet! It's funny how you have to consciously 'break into' shoes when consciously, I am pretty sure, all you want to do is break them!
Wide shoes zindabaaaaad

March Hare said...

@Sengmo: Woman!!! where are u!
@Amu: :D. My mom does that with my clothes! n here i thought we daughters were set to inherit the goodies!
@RoopaBee: Thank ye, you blessed soul. And that's not just for the comment!!! ;)

Lex said...

Hi Prerna,
I'm a friend of Chetna's and just stumbled across your blog. I totally think that the fashion industry has the policy of "kill all women with torturous footwear"! I suspect that high heels are the corsets of our time. Have you tried Birkenstocks? Most comfortable shoes I've ever worn.
Take care,

Prerna said...

Hi Alexia,

Thanks for stopping by and the advice! I don't know if I can blame the fashion regime any more, considering I went ahead and bought a pair of killer heels, yet again. I think I am a closet masochist (did i just out myself. Hmm...). But the next time I will definitely take ur suggestion and try the brand out! In the meanwhile wish me luck with the new pair!