I don’t know if this one is going to be about hellos or goodbyes. From the age of 4 till 14 I bade my parents adieu at the end of every summer vacation. There was a break in tradition from age 14 to 21, and then the cycle began again, this time it was college and later, work.
I remember being 10, peering out of the train window, dad on the platform asking me if he should push the train to make it leave. I would nod a yes putting on a brave face, pushing those cowardly tears back, wishing fervently that he wouldn’t. I hated the end of those summer hols. I also hated A/c train compartments, because then I couldn’t see ma and dad as the train pulled away.
But never, never did the pain of parting feel this acute as it does now when it is time to say bye again, this time to fly away to another continent, another time zone, another life. I am married now, my place beside my husband, mistress of my own household, all the while longing to be the daughter of the one I am leaving behind, which is the first that comes to mind when I think of home. And then there are friends to say bye to. I always took it for granted that they were just a call away and meeting them was matter of a few minutes. And now, I try to glean all the joy I can from a single meet not knowing when the next one would be possible. Went to the old office, the desk is still empty, I wonder if it is waiting for me… friends at office are still the same yet different; I am now a guest there. This time the parting was indeed difficult, the finality has now sunk in.
And at the same time I can’t wait to be back with V. My watch is still set at GMT. To be back to the home we made, to live the lives we have. To friends who tell me I am needed, who truth be told I missed as well. And while I long for the days gone by, I also look forward to what lies ahead.
Life goes on… as do we.