Been really busy the last couple of weeks or so, what with lots of firsts taking place post getting married - first karvachauth, first diwali, first of things I did nothing special on...heh heh. So while I was busy doing nothing on these days, the blog languished but the "first time" experience of a newly wed continued. Now you would say that close to being married for a year, how I still consider my self a newly wed, well that's because even the normal seems to have something new about it.
Let's take for example- conversation.
For those who are married, esp those who got into the arrangement recently have you noticed how topics of conversation have changed MARKEDLY. It's all about babies, recipes, furniture, upholstery... you get the picture. But I need to elaborate further (I know the smarty pants among you must have already guessed, but kindly persevere for there's more).
So to get back to talk about talking.
How it all started was when I sat own to chat with a friend of mine. She who sports "crazy"as her middle name, got married recently and true to her nature, in a completely unexpected and exciting fashion, prompted me to comment on this particular phenomenon. I was shaken because even she of the "crazy" fame could not escape the "wifey" talk.
After exchanging our greetings and the regular "aalu pyaaz ke bhaav", she suddenly pops the question : What happened to us? Here we were discussing further studies, getting a kick ass job, staging a coup in the dastardly newsroom, contemplating slow torture of bosses from hell, irritating co-inhabitors of office space, our magnum opus- just a year back and today all we can think of talking about is -"kya pakaya" (what did you cook today); I made awesome appams, will try my hand at the stew tomorrow; I was shocked to find out how much 250 gms of Paneer costs or how difficult is it without a domestic help!"
The next half an hour was spent reminiscing the good old times, and how far removed we were from the reality of those days. Now I may sound a bit wistful, which I am also because Nostalgic is one of many middle names I carry, I am not complaining. I quite enjoy the education I am gaining thanks to being a housewife (per force! bloody recession). How slicing a Kg of red-snapper down to more than eight pieces is not a good idea, or that the fridge has a tray at the back that needs to be emptied regularly to avoid a flooding or how to avoid tears while chopping onions (HA now i have your attention!). I am proud of my new found domestic wisdom and willing to share it with those genuinely interested and have similar lore to swap
But I can only be so benevolent. I am quite patient with queries brimming with curiosity about being married and answer with great candour, I am anything if not honest! And having done so myself when I was single, I know many come with genuine curiosity. It DOES seem as if the person's grown a new self, a process akin to molting. However, that is not true... and as usual i digress.
So about the strain on my benevolent nature. That is exerted when questions about procreation crop up. (and WHAT'S with that peculiar/suggestive look and smile that follows it?)
Now I understand if mothers with tiny tots ask me that- after all misery does love company and seeing what they go through I sympathise. But how about the rest of the multitude? Pray why would I, who till now was figuring out life for myself and has recently been saddled with the well-being of another entity (read husband who has "bequeathed" the tasks of house, dishes, cooking, shopping, shoes, socks, laundry on me), willfully undertake marital harakiri in the form of a kid.
(Oh but before you call me a DINK or in my current state SINK types, perish the thought! I do want kids. But when V and I think the time is right or well if the contraceptives fail!)
You see being married is not a fairy tale (as the previous entires might have enlightened you),it's a task, one that has a year long probationary period! If you (and your partner) survive that (literally and figuratively), chances of it being a success in the long term are bright [(this is not my theory but that of several learned married women who graced me with their wisdom before I got hitched. Of course according to them (and now in moments of weakness, mine) the BEST option was to get out before any harm was done.]. This may not apply to all, as I know of couples who are happy having their first-born attend their first wedding anniversary.
So if you think having a baby will make matters easy because they are oh-so-cute, you have GOT to be kidding! I know kids are cuddly and lovable and make for great entertainment. But the visitors are long gone when the real work begins. They are not there to feed them in the middle of the night, or wash them after they poop, or to soothe the kid when it gets cranky and irritable.
Now if you think I am ready to take on these while I am still struggling with what I have my hands full of, boy you do hate me!
While I do suffer from some kind of a superwoman complex, even I am not ready for a task as mammoth as this; so unless I bring it up, let sleeping babies lie.