Tuesday, 4 August 2009

I get by…with a little help from my friends

I started off writing this entry by penning its end first. Maybe that’s how some relationships are. You know they won’t last forever but you continue nonetheless, reveling in every moment of happiness they give you. You never pay heed to that feeling in the pit of your stomach that warns you that nothing lasts forever but you hope otherwise, anyway. This entry is not about lost love or love gone bad… but it IS about loss, the loss of a good friendship- at least for now.

I was hoping to post this entry on Friendship Day to cash in on the irony (cheap thrills) but those who know me, know I always miss the deadline. The reason, apart from my innate need to procrastinate, was also, perhaps, a feeling of self-consciousness to reveal a very personal sentiment. But I have decided to go on ahead with it anyway…

I am a single child, and growing up I have not made just friends but a set of non-blood relatives/siblings. But unlike a family you inherit, these tend to move away, something I have always found difficult to come to terms with. As a child it did not hurt beyond a couple of tantrums and a bout of petulance. And life moved on. Then came the turbulent teen years, and the friends made then were similarly tortured souls, afraid of what was to come but giddy with hope and confidence that would move mountains, or so we thought. What we also thought was that we’d be BFF (best friends forever, V)…

…some did, others moved on. Reasons were varied- different personalities, similar personalities, a different location, a set of new friends, a chosen career path, boyfriends/girlfriends, sometimes it was just a matter of time that we drifted apart. Through this some times we got back in touch, just to lose it again after a while.

Some dear people I know and some I have the honour of calling friends got married before I did, communication dwindled, at times just broke down, at other times was renewed. Now that I am married I know how difficult it can get to keep everything the way it was. I also now know that it isn’t out of a desire to leave the past behind. On the contrary you crave for the days gone by when you have had a fight with your partner or when you feel homesick, or when it rains and reminds you of college, or when you see a gaggle of giggling girls…you get the drift. What I had promised myself was that I would never let my friends feel the difference, that I would be as emotionally available as before (yes, naiveté is my middle name). It was not to be. So here I was again at a point in life where I said goodbye to some good friends.

I asked a wise lady, “Why? Why do we drift apart?” Why can’t I live in the comfort of the thought that things won’t change? “You make friends with people who fill the void you may have. All these people you think have lost, have actually left you their own precious gifts, which make you who you are today,” she said. That made sense. So while I do miss those who moved away, I can still smile at the good times we had and be thankful for a lot of things, apart from good memories – to help me meet the man I love and married, to smile easily, to laugh at myself, not be afraid of speaking my mind, of being bold, to loosen up, to trust my ownself, to try new things, to be meticulous and yes, to also cherish the love and respect of people I have in my life and who have stuck by me no matter what.

Thank you. And I hope I too touched your life in some ways and that sometimes, you miss me as well. And in Gibran’s words: If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song.


saina said...

awwww loved it :D i love you too ( if that article was also meant for me)

Mum's the Word said...

yeah.... seems like the story of all our lives...and i truly believe in what u said abt the precious gifts left behind by our friends.... it is all that, that is part of who we are today. noone can take those memories away.

Shwetz said...

Nothing more to say than "Well said"!!!

Latin Sardar said...

I guess thats why god told man to make internet, so we could stay in touch with friends over unimaginable distances.

Reflectionz! said...

yes u have tchd a cpl of livez... mine i can safely say!

and made me the person i am..
in many wayzz .. only ofcrz.. i jz realised today..

loadzz of luvv!!kpp scribbln'

Nikita said...

awww....sweetie. big hug, thats all i can say right now. call me peru...as usual i have gone thru my office quota :p
let me know how the meeting with payal goes!