Before starting out, I need to clarify something... I love being married and I don't hate my husband! As I had once pointed out in an earlier post, I love him to bits, snoring and nocturnal rants notwithstanding! I am very happily married and this forum is to rant about marriage in general (mine AND others') and those who know me how I LOVE to crib! If I were being paid for cribbing, I'd be living a dream. And yes my husband is a frequent visitor to the blog and LOVES the fact that all I do is write about him, which leads him to the conclusion that all I do is think about him and that keeps him happy! Now that I have sufficiently established that we are a freak family let me get on to what I wanted to gripe about today.
What DOES marriage do to men's ability to look after themselves?
Remember those cheesy movies where the husband and wife wasted ten minutes of the screen time sparring over the elusive handkerchief or the like. Some may think that was an exaggeration but such was not the case. In the manner of fiction imitating life, one of the hottest topics of discussion in many households, including mine, during my growing years was on the topic of missing socks, ties, belts and shirts, especially around the time folks were getting ready to go to work. The man of the house assumed that the woman had waylaid the above articles on purpose, while women were going purple in the face at the very accusation. After a hearty shouting match, the ladyfolks would resignedly get up and point to the 'missing' sock, which would be lying demurely under the man's nose. Instead of a thank you or a sorry, all they got was "It wasn't there when I looked!" You’d think things would change with time, well they didn’t. The missing garment/article debate continues. Which brings me to the conclusion that men’s honing device (radar, if u like!) is rendered useless within the institution of marriage; as if the signal is being blocked in the building.
I have known a number of capable male of the species who after marriage seem to have been robbed of their power to pick up after themselves. I have seen bachelor pads so neat that’d put the Monicas of the world to shame, seen creases on their trousers that are sharper than a knife’s edge, seen them labouring to cook the most delicious of meals, just to lose it all post wedding! It's as if an internal mechanism undergoes auto shut down, the second after they say 'I do' (It actually means, I won't!)
Even today, the way they go about rummaging through their cupboard, or need constant reminders to take the garbage out, you find it hard to believe, he is the one who executed that brilliant takeover the other day, or bedazzled his clients from overseas with his awesome presentation or cracked the code no one could, or fished the biggest fish in the ocean, or brought home the biggest buck in the forest, or built the tallest tower and so it goes.
But it’d be unfair to blame just them. Women do their own share of hara-kiri to weaken their own case. Love-dazed, they offer their services unconditionally, which means doing EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING, from dishes to laundry to cooking to cleaning – now while it will make many a mom proud, it can get to be a pain after a while. However, by the time the scales fall, the damage is done. The man has lost his ability to find his own sock.
Ladies you can wonder all you like at this freak of nature but it is best you take timely action! While we can’t fight genes, we CAN condition men to contribute. It is all well to pander to pookey’s whims once in a while but make sure he does his share of homework if you want to avoid unwanted lung exercises and useless heartburn.